Why Your Cashier Hates You

It was back to work for me this Valentine's Day, and I was NOT feeling the love. I love working in retail  and the store I work at has the added bonus of personalizing customers' gifts. That said, some things make me want to put my two-weeks in:

• If I say we close at 9 pm, I mean, "Don't come in after 8 pm." My job involves engraving items, neurotically polishing jewelry, fixing our machines, and keeping our district manager up-to-date on sales (every hour, on the hour). So when a customer comes in at 8:30 pm, they are, in effect, setting me back an extra hour.

• When I say that engraving takes about an hour, don't come back for an hour. No, I don't ant you to watch me engrave your products. I'm not an animal in the zoo. In fact, there's a large sign on the door that say, "Custom engraving WHILE YOU SHOP." So go shopping. Somewhere else. Thank you.

• If I'm talking to another customer, wait you turn. I'm only one person. You can wait five minutes for me to ring up the other person. And don't give me the "eye roll." I'm 21; I'm pretty much immune to your attitude.

• If you wait until the last minute to buy holiday gifts, I'm severely judging you. Take, for instance, Valentine's Day. Five guys came to the store at 8 pm on V-Day (!!!), trying to buy gifts for their girlfriends/wives/"side chick"/"boo thang" (his words, not mine). Whatever. Cool. But they all needed help with what to get, what to say, what font to use, etc. Again, whatever. That's my job. But here's the *best* part--they all wanted it THAT EVENING. Yes, I laughed in their faces. No, I do not feel bad. I hope they had fun explainging to their women why they didn't buy them gifts :)

• Don't pay with cash. Ever. The best present in the world is knowing that I don't have to make a cash deposit.